Technoholic?

Posted: July 25, 2010 in Uncategorized

Hi, I’m Dave and I’m a facebook addict.

*HI DAVE*

I think I use the internet for more and more reasons these days. I’m on blogs, forums, chat rooms, instant messengers, facebook and twitter. But I’m not on bebo, because we all know that that is only for the tweens and paedophiles these days.

It started off quite innocently when I was probably twelvish, starting off with a bebo account at my friends behest. It was all very pleasant in the first place, just a few comments to friends here and there, you know to stay in touch, (twenty seconds after coming home having been out all day with them.) You know, the usual. But within months it became a small obsession, slightly addictive. Suddenly having an account became competitive. It was all about how many friends you had or how many views you got.

Not that much has changed. Now I dedicate my net time to facebook statuses and apparently pointless, unnecessary tweets. (Let’s be fair though, in times before twitter if one went into the middle of the street and shouted *Brushing teeth now, going for a walk with the dog later to escape the in-laws LOL*. They would have been committed.) Instead of being worried about how many bebo friends I have and how many bebo views I had today, I’m now concerned with how many facebook contacts I have and the amount of traffic I’m getting on this blog. You may think I’m completely sad to be rating my life on facebook stats but have you never had someone block you on facebook and just for a second thought “well were not friends in real life now either!” ?

Let’s face it though, I might have three hundred facebook friends, at least fifty per cent of which I never communicate with (if you’re one of those people reading this feel free to send an instant message some time to let me know you’re still alive.) and that’s great. But it’s a real ego killer when Hitler has more facebook friends than you do…

But yes, facebook does truly cater to the bruised ego. One can even find like-minded people by starting groups, or give into their own attention seeking nature in any case. I, thinking I’m absolutely hilarious, decided to start a group entitled “things you probably shouldn’t say to disabled people” (you can find this on facebook still) and it all went off to a great start. Until one of my best friends said “So have your parents ever thought of euthanasia?”

Total ego killer. Facebook is a double-edged sword. If anyone reading this has not yet succumbed to the machine that is facebook, I suggest you block it from your pc permanently, forget about it, never even open an account. Facebook, twitter, forums, they start off innocently, as a means of filling up that extra time you weren’t going to use constructively anyway, but soon it becomes a black hole that eats away at what precious little time we have on this planet.

In the most severe cases of technoholism, people can seriously damage their own lives and those of others. People have fallen into debt by using the internet as a means of feeding an already rampant gambling problem, I myself have wasted countless hours non-constructively making idle comments on facebook, playing flashgames or trawling through the heroine of internet apps stumbleupon. However in one unique case, a couple became so addicted to technology, that they neglected their own baby for a virtual one. The human child died of starvation. (You can find this on google.)

Of course the internet is a well oiled machine, it is made to draw you in. Subliminal messages, psychological techniques, they are all employed to keep you surfing, because the more you surf the more you come across those pop-ups, ads and special offers. Every page you see on the net is devised to sell you something, to make you part with your hard-earned cash.

If I have indeed convinced you that the internet is a total and utter waste of time, the bane of existence itself and probably the means by which the devil will bring about the apocalypse, I invite you now to press this button http://emptyweb.weebly.com/ there you will find reality once more and return to your regular lives.

I however will not. Even as I type I have facebook, twitter, this blog, a forum and two email accounts open in my tabs. It’s too late for me. Just go! Leave without me! I have to return to the internet to get my fix…

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Comments
  1. George says:

    Hi,

    Just thought Id mention I found your blog through your facebook page! I too like you loathe facebook, twitter and all the rest, but the fact is that if you don’t embrace them you just don’t get notice nowadays.

    George

  2. As a network surfer I ‘m resistant to such poor iq comments , luckily so are you, good writing , first class decision ;).

  3. Mac Steck says:

    Great article. Waiting for more.

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