Lushotology: Carlsberg don’t make cults, but if they did…

Posted: April 25, 2010 in Random Ramblings
From Urban Dictionary:
Lushotology:a religion that believes in intoxication. Such members of this religion are Tre Cool of Green Day and every member of The Network.
From wikipedia:
The Church of Lushotology: a parody religion, created by filmmaker John Roecker, who “believe” that an evil alien named Penu had cast a spell on humans long ago, making them feel guilt while getting drunk. Lushotology claims that they must drink to free themselves of that guilt, hence the “church’s” motto: “More Booze, Less Guilt,” by reaching the highest of thirteen levels of drunkenness.
 
Holy Trinity: Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt and Tre Cool
Religious Leader: The black pope, John Roecker.
Founding members: the members of “The Network”
Founded in: the 1990’s
Sacred text: none
Belief system: intoxication is the best way to find god.
Members: Lushotologists (a.k.a. Lushies)
Apocalyptic views: The world will end when the booze runs out.
Sacraments: Communion is held regularly in bars, clubs and off-licences where the lushies partake of the sacred beverage of alcohol.
 
The Lushies Prayer:
Our Lushie, who art in the gutter,
hallowed be thy hipflask,
thy order come, thy cocktail be done,
in bars as it is in nightclubs,
give us this day our daily vodka,..
and forgive us our overdue bar tabs,
as we forgive those who vomit on us,
and lead us not into the hospital,
but deliver us from sobriety,
for thine is the whiskey, Guinness and the lager,
for ever and ever.
AMEN!!!
 
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